Laugh your a$$ out: joke of the day

To all Primary teachers who forced us boys to sit between two girls as punishment```...
```WE HONESTLY MISS YOU```.

*GIVE ME THE PUNISHMENT AGAIN*
I no get sense dat time, I neva knew u were passing a message to me

She was my Crush, Until the day she said the opposite of "Minimum was Minidad"   
Eleyi deep. 

TEACHER : What do you call mosquitoes in your language?

Ngu: We don't call them, they come on their own.

TEACHER : John is climbing a tree to pick some
mangoes. ( Begin the sentence with Mangoes)

Atabong : Mangoes, John is coming to pick you

TEACHER : One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
Lekeaka: Future impossible tense.

TEACHER : Name the nation people hate most
Asong: Exami-nation

My lips is doing me somehow...Its like someone is kissing my future WIFE!!!
Werey wo niyen??

*```CHELSEA``*... Currently with
the league title

*```MAN CITY``*.....its only three seasons
without the league title

*```MAN UTD``*......its only four seasons
without the league title

*```ARSENAL``*............ no information available try again later!!!!!

*LIVERPOOL* ......search not found "did you mean swimming pool"



As a student, pls utilize ur
vibrant brain 2 provide
solution 2 ds questn. U av a
money, u didn't trust anyone 2
keep it 4 u xcept a blind man,
later u travelled, bt b4 u came
back d blindman had bcame
deaf. How wud u collect ur
money back? Text 2 oda
friendz bt , reply me first

Pls can someone snap #1000 recharge card and send it to me then I will snap #1000 Naira note and send it to the person...They don't have #1000 card in dis area.

*FOR THE GUYS...*
You have worn your boxers for 1 week and you still clean the chairs in church to sit down...

*Oga pls come foward..*

*Oya collect 3 big gbozaa!*


*Papa ooo.*



*Teacher:::: What is Jungle Justice*
*Akpors:::: Jungle Justice is when you rape a girl and the Judge decided that you should be locked up with Horny Gay Men*

A thousand of insult from a teacher is more better than a silent from a friend in examination hall.......
#Ogbeni......your tears will full 33,000litres tanker......藍藍藍

WHAT AN EMBARRASSMENT!!!!!
Yesterday was the "saddest" day in my life. I
got to the Airport to board a flight to Abuja.
Suddenly, I saw an elderly woman
complaining about her stolen phone. I went
close to listen and see if I could help. At the
same time, I was also downloading a PDF file
on my phone.
Immediately she saw my phone, she told the
crowd that that was her phone which was a
Samsung Galaxy J2. For a moment I was so
surprised, and shocked that I couldn't even
open my mouth to utter a word. I was so
confused. She held me and slapped me. (Can
u imagine an elderly woman doing such?)
The crowd attempted to beat me up but
luckily a policeman who was passing by came
into the scene. He asked what was going on
and I explained with tears all over my face.
The Policeman was about sending us to the
Airport Police Post but I still insisted that I
was innocent.
So the policeman asked the woman to call her
phone. She called and a girl picked,
apparently it was her daughter. The girl told
the woman that she left her phone at home
when she was leaving to town.
I burst into more tears because I had already
been disgraced. The policeman told the
woman to settle me with some money for the
embarrassment. The woman brought out her
Cheque book and wrote a cheque of 10million
naira and wanted to hand it over to me but I
just opened my eyes, stood up from my bed
and went to urinate.
Please do you think I should go back to sleep?
Am confused.藍藍藍藍藍藍藍藍藍藍藍藍

TEACHER... look at the sky very well.
STUDENTS... : we are looking.. Sir
TEACHER... ok.. What do you see...??.
STUDENTS... Clouds...
TEACHER.. Did you see God..
STUDENTS... Nooo.....
TEACHER.... Which means there is no God....
(after that they went back to the class )
TEACHER.... Any Question?
DASHA.... I have question sir....
TEACHER...... Yes go on...
DASHA.... Sir can you please remove your
cap.....
TEACHER... Of course yes...
DASHA.... Look at his head very well and tell
me what you see ....
STUDENTS... We can see hair skin and so
on....
DASHA.... did you see his Brain...???...
STUDENTS... Nooo..
DASHA ....ok Which means our teacher has no
Brain... ..
(teacher fainted藍藍藍藍藍藍藍藍

When Words Are Not Enough To Express Your Feelings Dont Think That You Are In Love. .. It Means That u Need To Improve Your Vocabulary

Someone said
The rate at which LAUTECH girls are learning tailoring these days ehn,when they later resume the name of the school will just change to Ladoke Akintola University of Tailors
This is not my handwriting Plz

Marrying a short girl is not a problem but the problem is when your chairman comes to your home and finds your wife washing utensils n he asks that; young girl where is your Father?
藍藍藍藍藍藍藍藍藍

Are u a student?
Are u broke?
U need some cash?
Need to flex?
Need to change ur wardrobe?
Need to take ur girl out??
Need to get new stuff

Well listen carefully..
Dat is none of my business

sorry to disturb u, Abeg no vex oh,* *#just thinking about dis since last night#*
if u put kerosene 4 fridge e go block?

樂On judgement day pls hold the *NIGERIA Flag* so that angels will consider, knowing u've been through hell already...
Person no fit face hell twice 

: Ur Mum or sister Will beg You To assist Unhooking Her "Bra", You'll Be Doing Like Snail,
But When it's "Bae", You suddenly become Fast And Furious part 8    
Bros, Just tell me why ur hell fire will not have a suya stand?? 
#issoryt #Kontinue   

MTN will soon be like "To learn how to owe your workers a long time salary.
Text 'AREGBE' to 32120" for free
.
I don tire for Osun people o