You decided to go nd see ur crush with ur Ugly friend...
On reaching there ur bae saw both of u and shout *Waooo U perfectly look alike ar u twins...???*
My brother just rest in peace....
Bcs am fainting for you.. 😂😂😂😂
*The Basco*
Just wondering what Methuselah was doing on earth* *for 969 yrs without an Android phone and power bank…*
*That man strong.* 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 😜 😜
*#I_Swear*
That Moment When Your Father Calls You "Stupid Boy"*
*And You Mistakenly Reply "you Nkor" My Brother Jejely*
*Pack To The Next Orphanage Near You....*
Your Pastor Has 6 Bodyguards And You Only Have His Sticker On Your Car To Protect You, Is Your Brain Paining You?
Lemme Come Nd Be Going?
It's only Nigerian Police that will tell you: “Oga Your plate Number is LAGOS what are you doing in SOKOTO you are Under Arrest”. #Lmao**
It’s only in Nigeria you'll see a conductor eating bread with Power horse...
For God's sake, it an energy drink, not Lipton. #Ah_ah!
Why do #Nigerians_feel_they_need to turn the #Television_volume_down to smell if something is #burning_in_the_kitchen ???
😏😏😏😏😏😏
. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
: *S M A R T K I D*
*Dad:* Who do you like more, Mum or Dad?
*Child:* Both
*Dad:* Ok, if I go to UK and your Mum goes to America, where will you go?
*Child:* America…
*Dad:* That shows you love your Mum more?
*Child:* No, it shows I love America more than UK.
*Dad:* Ok, if I go to America and your Mum goes to UK, where will you go?
*Child:* UK
*Dad:* Replied angrily, why?
*Child:* Haha, why the anger? I choose UK because I have been to America before.
*Dad:* When did you go to America?
*Child:* During the first question …😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
1. Some African Parents will be like 'I will not place curse on you, but whatever you do to me your children will do you same. Is this one a proclaimation or a declaration??
2. Everyone has a right to be foolish but some idiots use it stupidly.
Teacher: Mention 10wild animals
Student: 5lions. 5tigers.
😂😂😂😂😂
3. My school teacher taught me most of the lies I tell today, she would tell me to write a letter to my uncle abroad when she knows my uncle is in the village. 😁😁😁😁😁
4. My mom entered my room and saw me asleep. She held my head, slapped me and said to me "Your last seen on whatsapp was 1minute ago, stand up and go buy me bread"😂😂😂😂
5. Some people don't have the spirit of forgiveness at all, How can u sweep your room and use ur Ex' picture as paker.
_*LET'S LEARN SOMETHING NEW IN ENGLISH*_
*"UNPUTDOWNABLE"* is an actual-albeit informal word in the dictionary. It describes a book that you can't stop reading.
THE PERFECT MAN!!!!
- wakes up at 5:00 everyday
-Exercises everyday
-Does his own bed
-clean his room
-works sincerely
-does not touch alcohol
-Helps in the kitchen
-does not indulge in night life
-always punctual
-prays daily
-hits the bed at 9pm sharp
Such a perfect guy can only be found in......
..JAIL.
Thank you👌👌👌👌
*Ladies, please take a moment to thank and appreciate those guys that dated u in secondary school. They loved you with no makeup, no Brazilian hair, with your short hair, your over sized uniforms, your shapeless bags and rubber sandals . " That was true love"* 😂❤
£32m Mangala
£34m Otamendi
£48m Stones
£17m Bravo
£34m Ederson
£50m Walker
£52m Mendy
£27m Danilo
£293m on defence. Is man city preparing for world war 3🤔
Classy girls do not have tattoos. If you have one, you are probably a lorry because no one can intentionally scratch a Benz or private jet👌👌👌👌
Agony is joining a group called " Single and Searching" and finding your husband is the admin... 😂😂😂
You listening to the music... You waiting on the Bazz so you can release that one strong mess
Finally the Bazz comes up and you realease it... Everyone is staring at you
You then realize you are on your earphone...😀😀😂😂😂😂😂😂
A man in USA sees a tiger attacking a girl. He fights the tiger and the tiger dies Newspapers report: *"LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM TIGER"*
Man says:
"I'm not American."
Report changed: *"Foreign Hero Saves girl from tiger"*
Man says, "Actually, I'm from Iraq." *BREAKING NEWS, TERRORIST KILLS INNOCENT TIGER WHICH WAS PLAYING WITH A LITTLE GIRL.*
*Reputation matters.*
😂🤣😂🤣
Do You Know Lightening
Is God Taken Screenshots Of the Earth for judgement day ?
.
So If You Are Masturbating And You Hear praaa,Abeg Forget it, it is Over, No Heaven For You😂😂😂
A teacher brought two buckets in a classroom, filled one with BEER and the other filled with WATER...
Then she brought a DONKEY to drink.
Donkey smelled both buckets and decided to drink WATER...
Teacher then asked the students, "What have u learnt from today's lesson?"
The students chorused
"ANYONE WHO DOESN'T DRINK BEER IS A DONKEY"
Nigerian girls love money, I'm telling you.
You'll get angry and tell her to go to hell
She will look at you and be like, "I don't
have transport fare."
Jesus!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
No matter how
serious your
relationship is...
Ur girl/boyfriend is
alwys single in evry
document he/she
fills...😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Real !!
Once a girl stop taking picture and u don't see her online, just know she is pregnant !!!
😹😹😁😁🏃🏃
This is hw we American brush our teeth
.....
Shi.!!!shi!!!shi!!!!shi!!!!!pour and rinse that is all
Buh hw u Nigerians brush ur teeth
shi!!shika!!shi!!shikakaka!!kakashi!!kakashii!!!Deep the brush inside their throat like dey wanna swallow it!!!!......
Make weird sound like a goat. Being strangled... Then felt Like vomiting.....Takes another paste to the brush.......Every thing would seems like an horror film.....
Thank God am not from this country...😎🤗
Yahoo boys in a party..... 😂😂😂
moment they hear SARS.....they won't even wait to hear if it's SARZ__ON__THE__BEATZ😜
Omo come and see temple run
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Having a short girlfriend is not bad until she washes your clothes and waits for you to come back from work so you will help her hang it.😢😢😢🐸🐸🐸
The World Is Really Coming To An End....What Hapened yesterday At Rivers State University , (Back gate) ... A Girl, (200L) Studying Mass Communication who is squatting With Her Friend Invited A Man To Her lodge, someone she met @Envy Lounge ) Not Knowing Dat D Man Is An Occultic Man... Her room mate Traveled For weekend.... She Was D Only One left In d hostel... She Asked D Man What She Could Offer Him, D Man Said...Heineken. She Went Out To Buy D Heineken As SHe Came Back, She Saw D Man Holding A Black Pot....So She Screamed Jesus Nd D Man Turned Into A Big Dragon Nd Swallowed Her... As Her neighbours Entered d Room They Screamed Jesus! Wen dey Saw The Dragon Swallowing Her...
So am Thinking Of How To Complete This Yeye Story that you Have Wasted your Time To Read
plz don't insult me... I am not feeling fine.. ... .😂😂😂
SON: Mummy why did Auntie Akua name her daughter Diamond
MUM: Sometimes people name their children after what they like best
SON: So what's d reason behind my name
MUM: Ooooh... Dickson stop worrying me, pls...?
🙈🙈🙈😂😂😂
A blonde girl came home from college one day and told her mother that a boy had paid her a dollar to climb up a ladder and get his ball from off the roof.
"You silly girl," her mother said, "he just wanted you to climb the ladder so he could look up your skirt and see your undies."
The next day the same little girl came home from college and told her mother that the same boy gave her a dollar again to climb a ladder and get his ball off the roof. Just before her mother could admonish her for being silly, the little girl said, "No mum, this time I tricked him. I wasn't wearing any undies!"
Side chicks are young girls between 16-22. So if U are 23 and above dating a married man, My sister U are a side hen or any overgrown bird 😂
On issue of electricity
Minister of Power - Babatunde Raji Fashola asked me to tell you that all Power belongs to God 😅
BACK IN PRIMARY
👉Those people who used to write their name on a paper and put it inside a pen so we couldn't steal😂😂😂🏃
😂😂👉I hope you're still using the same pen😂😂😂🏃🏃
I came home from work.
Was tired. Sat down on the sofa. Put my feet up.
Wife brought me a glass of water. Son gave me a sheet of paper 📄
English. 17 /100
BM. 35/100
Maths. 40 /100
Physics 37/100
Chemistry 42/100
I lost my temper
😤😤😤😡😡😡
"What is this?
All the time on phone and TV.
How dare you show me such marks?"
😡😡😡
Wife said: "Be patient. Listen...."
I told her:
"Shut up. It's your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good."
Wife said: "Oh. Really?"
I said:
"No one in our family has performed so badly ever."
Son said:
"Dad. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this."
"This is your old school report card."
😂😂😂school report card."
😂😂😂
On reaching there ur bae saw both of u and shout *Waooo U perfectly look alike ar u twins...???*
My brother just rest in peace....
Bcs am fainting for you.. 😂😂😂😂
*The Basco*
Just wondering what Methuselah was doing on earth* *for 969 yrs without an Android phone and power bank…*
*That man strong.* 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 😜 😜
*#I_Swear*
That Moment When Your Father Calls You "Stupid Boy"*
*And You Mistakenly Reply "you Nkor" My Brother Jejely*
*Pack To The Next Orphanage Near You....*
Your Pastor Has 6 Bodyguards And You Only Have His Sticker On Your Car To Protect You, Is Your Brain Paining You?
Lemme Come Nd Be Going?
It's only Nigerian Police that will tell you: “Oga Your plate Number is LAGOS what are you doing in SOKOTO you are Under Arrest”. #Lmao**
It’s only in Nigeria you'll see a conductor eating bread with Power horse...
For God's sake, it an energy drink, not Lipton. #Ah_ah!
Why do #Nigerians_feel_they_need to turn the #Television_volume_down to smell if something is #burning_in_the_kitchen ???
😏😏😏😏😏😏
. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
: *S M A R T K I D*
*Dad:* Who do you like more, Mum or Dad?
*Child:* Both
*Dad:* Ok, if I go to UK and your Mum goes to America, where will you go?
*Child:* America…
*Dad:* That shows you love your Mum more?
*Child:* No, it shows I love America more than UK.
*Dad:* Ok, if I go to America and your Mum goes to UK, where will you go?
*Child:* UK
*Dad:* Replied angrily, why?
*Child:* Haha, why the anger? I choose UK because I have been to America before.
*Dad:* When did you go to America?
*Child:* During the first question …😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
1. Some African Parents will be like 'I will not place curse on you, but whatever you do to me your children will do you same. Is this one a proclaimation or a declaration??
2. Everyone has a right to be foolish but some idiots use it stupidly.
Teacher: Mention 10wild animals
Student: 5lions. 5tigers.
😂😂😂😂😂
3. My school teacher taught me most of the lies I tell today, she would tell me to write a letter to my uncle abroad when she knows my uncle is in the village. 😁😁😁😁😁
4. My mom entered my room and saw me asleep. She held my head, slapped me and said to me "Your last seen on whatsapp was 1minute ago, stand up and go buy me bread"😂😂😂😂
5. Some people don't have the spirit of forgiveness at all, How can u sweep your room and use ur Ex' picture as paker.
_*LET'S LEARN SOMETHING NEW IN ENGLISH*_
*"UNPUTDOWNABLE"* is an actual-albeit informal word in the dictionary. It describes a book that you can't stop reading.
THE PERFECT MAN!!!!
- wakes up at 5:00 everyday
-Exercises everyday
-Does his own bed
-clean his room
-works sincerely
-does not touch alcohol
-Helps in the kitchen
-does not indulge in night life
-always punctual
-prays daily
-hits the bed at 9pm sharp
Such a perfect guy can only be found in......
..JAIL.
Thank you👌👌👌👌
*Ladies, please take a moment to thank and appreciate those guys that dated u in secondary school. They loved you with no makeup, no Brazilian hair, with your short hair, your over sized uniforms, your shapeless bags and rubber sandals . " That was true love"* 😂❤
£32m Mangala
£34m Otamendi
£48m Stones
£17m Bravo
£34m Ederson
£50m Walker
£52m Mendy
£27m Danilo
£293m on defence. Is man city preparing for world war 3🤔
Classy girls do not have tattoos. If you have one, you are probably a lorry because no one can intentionally scratch a Benz or private jet👌👌👌👌
Agony is joining a group called " Single and Searching" and finding your husband is the admin... 😂😂😂
You listening to the music... You waiting on the Bazz so you can release that one strong mess
Finally the Bazz comes up and you realease it... Everyone is staring at you
You then realize you are on your earphone...😀😀😂😂😂😂😂😂
A man in USA sees a tiger attacking a girl. He fights the tiger and the tiger dies Newspapers report: *"LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM TIGER"*
Man says:
"I'm not American."
Report changed: *"Foreign Hero Saves girl from tiger"*
Man says, "Actually, I'm from Iraq." *BREAKING NEWS, TERRORIST KILLS INNOCENT TIGER WHICH WAS PLAYING WITH A LITTLE GIRL.*
*Reputation matters.*
😂🤣😂🤣
Do You Know Lightening
Is God Taken Screenshots Of the Earth for judgement day ?
.
So If You Are Masturbating And You Hear praaa,Abeg Forget it, it is Over, No Heaven For You😂😂😂
A teacher brought two buckets in a classroom, filled one with BEER and the other filled with WATER...
Then she brought a DONKEY to drink.
Donkey smelled both buckets and decided to drink WATER...
Teacher then asked the students, "What have u learnt from today's lesson?"
The students chorused
"ANYONE WHO DOESN'T DRINK BEER IS A DONKEY"
Nigerian girls love money, I'm telling you.
You'll get angry and tell her to go to hell
She will look at you and be like, "I don't
have transport fare."
Jesus!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
No matter how
serious your
relationship is...
Ur girl/boyfriend is
alwys single in evry
document he/she
fills...😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Real !!
Once a girl stop taking picture and u don't see her online, just know she is pregnant !!!
😹😹😁😁🏃🏃
This is hw we American brush our teeth
.....
Shi.!!!shi!!!shi!!!!shi!!!!!pour and rinse that is all
Buh hw u Nigerians brush ur teeth
shi!!shika!!shi!!shikakaka!!kakashi!!kakashii!!!Deep the brush inside their throat like dey wanna swallow it!!!!......
Make weird sound like a goat. Being strangled... Then felt Like vomiting.....Takes another paste to the brush.......Every thing would seems like an horror film.....
Thank God am not from this country...😎🤗
Yahoo boys in a party..... 😂😂😂
moment they hear SARS.....they won't even wait to hear if it's SARZ__ON__THE__BEATZ😜
Omo come and see temple run
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Having a short girlfriend is not bad until she washes your clothes and waits for you to come back from work so you will help her hang it.😢😢😢🐸🐸🐸
The World Is Really Coming To An End....What Hapened yesterday At Rivers State University , (Back gate) ... A Girl, (200L) Studying Mass Communication who is squatting With Her Friend Invited A Man To Her lodge, someone she met @Envy Lounge ) Not Knowing Dat D Man Is An Occultic Man... Her room mate Traveled For weekend.... She Was D Only One left In d hostel... She Asked D Man What She Could Offer Him, D Man Said...Heineken. She Went Out To Buy D Heineken As SHe Came Back, She Saw D Man Holding A Black Pot....So She Screamed Jesus Nd D Man Turned Into A Big Dragon Nd Swallowed Her... As Her neighbours Entered d Room They Screamed Jesus! Wen dey Saw The Dragon Swallowing Her...
So am Thinking Of How To Complete This Yeye Story that you Have Wasted your Time To Read
plz don't insult me... I am not feeling fine.. ... .😂😂😂
SON: Mummy why did Auntie Akua name her daughter Diamond
MUM: Sometimes people name their children after what they like best
SON: So what's d reason behind my name
MUM: Ooooh... Dickson stop worrying me, pls...?
🙈🙈🙈😂😂😂
A blonde girl came home from college one day and told her mother that a boy had paid her a dollar to climb up a ladder and get his ball from off the roof.
"You silly girl," her mother said, "he just wanted you to climb the ladder so he could look up your skirt and see your undies."
The next day the same little girl came home from college and told her mother that the same boy gave her a dollar again to climb a ladder and get his ball off the roof. Just before her mother could admonish her for being silly, the little girl said, "No mum, this time I tricked him. I wasn't wearing any undies!"
Side chicks are young girls between 16-22. So if U are 23 and above dating a married man, My sister U are a side hen or any overgrown bird 😂
On issue of electricity
Minister of Power - Babatunde Raji Fashola asked me to tell you that all Power belongs to God 😅
BACK IN PRIMARY
👉Those people who used to write their name on a paper and put it inside a pen so we couldn't steal😂😂😂🏃
😂😂👉I hope you're still using the same pen😂😂😂🏃🏃
I came home from work.
Was tired. Sat down on the sofa. Put my feet up.
Wife brought me a glass of water. Son gave me a sheet of paper 📄
English. 17 /100
BM. 35/100
Maths. 40 /100
Physics 37/100
Chemistry 42/100
I lost my temper
😤😤😤😡😡😡
"What is this?
All the time on phone and TV.
How dare you show me such marks?"
😡😡😡
Wife said: "Be patient. Listen...."
I told her:
"Shut up. It's your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good."
Wife said: "Oh. Really?"
I said:
"No one in our family has performed so badly ever."
Son said:
"Dad. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this."
"This is your old school report card."
😂😂😂school report card."
😂😂😂
![DOWNLOAD: Ruth B. – Safe Haven [Full Album] (All Songs/Tracks) & Zip](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYIaO6bS3ItUYoJG1ZyBU1MdEdwkjqlW86F2JQJw4XNgC9COio91qmKhSziAuX-LOT9dbISVqtYv_ZNZKPmh_kt1x6YVOMrF7smxDMGOZ1lHAiF7ymSAZCL_2XPL23Snmd-uuafXONYbA/w72-h72-p-k-no-nu/wp-1494119675417.jpg)
No comments: